a letter to charlotte and the amazing people it containted, both past and present.
dear charlotte,
i first want to say, that i'm sorry i hated you that one time. you know, when i lived there? i see how dumb that was. for some reason, you somehow brought the most amazing people ever created and threw them all together for one glorious year. then, we all had to leave. its sad, really. together, we are a big giant group of love, sunshine, and happiness. its so true, charlotte, that you don't know what you have until its gone (sorry, i just couldn't bring myself to type with such poor grammar).
i'm so glad you have an airport, so that i could fly and visit those amazing people. you also have a nice skyline that seems to grow wider and taller each time i visit you. its funny, charlotte. i live in los angeles, where many people come to pursue their dreams. but me? i'd rather be with you, as long as you bring all the amazing people back from their corners - nashville, philadelphia, raleigh, etc. also, your leaves are quite nice this time of year.
charlotte, thank you for letting me live on your crazy streets. i miss them a lot. even the ones that don't make sense.
love,
lindsey
ok, letter done. let me just say, that i miss charlotte so much. its CRAZY to me that i have lived in CA for longer than i lived in charlotte, yet that place (or really those people) still have my heart like no one else. i have not found that here yet. the people here are different - in a good way, but just different. i have never felt so comfortable and free to be myself. gosh, i miss all those people. teddy, chris, hailey, angela, manda, ginny, tim, peter, kelly, joel, staci, audrey...i know i left people off this list, but MAN. i love these people so much. i know my place is here, but my heart is not. i forgot what it was like to be so loved. to not have to fight so hard for my friendships. to not have to constantly be working on them...and just BE. enjoy life. dance like there is no tomorrow, and not care if you look idiotic. i forgot that. i think i've spent too much time trying here.
so, maybe i'll stop. and just be myself. what a novel idea.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
choosing the eternal at the expense of the temporary.
2 Corinthians 5
The Temporal and Eternal
1For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven,
3inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked.
4For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.
5Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge.
6Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord--
7for we walk by faith, not by sight--
8we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.
9Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
11Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men, but we are made manifest to God; and I hope that we are made manifest also in your consciences.
12We are not again commending ourselves to you but are giving you an occasion to be proud of us, so that you will have an answer for those who take pride in appearance and not in heart.
13For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are of sound mind, it is for you.
14For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died;
15and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
16Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.
17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,
19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
The Temporal and Eternal
1For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven,
3inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked.
4For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.
5Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge.
6Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord--
7for we walk by faith, not by sight--
8we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.
9Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.
11Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men, but we are made manifest to God; and I hope that we are made manifest also in your consciences.
12We are not again commending ourselves to you but are giving you an occasion to be proud of us, so that you will have an answer for those who take pride in appearance and not in heart.
13For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are of sound mind, it is for you.
14For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died;
15and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
16Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.
17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,
19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
no time.
there is so much i could say. but here is something.
a. GOD IS GOOD.
b. honesty is awesome.
god is doing such a crazy work in my heart. its honestly so painful because its a deep, deep issue that he is showing me. i've never seen how utterly sinful i am in such a clear way. there is so much gross stuff in my heart. there is a root...of pride, insecurity, fear of man...its so deep. it hurts god, me, and others. and God is pulling it out. i don't like it because it hurts. a lot. but oh, how i long to be like Christ, and give Him His rightful place on the throne of my heart.
I have so many idols, mostly centered around people. But I don't want to esteem or give value to anyone above CHRIST. When He commands us to have no other gods before Him, His two reasons are 1. I am the Lord and 2. I have redeemed you. How can I have any gods before Him? He is worthy of my whole-hearted devotion simply because He is.
So that is what is going on in my life. Pulling out the weeds instead of just pulling the tops off. Getting to the core of an issue, as part of the process. Submitting to the process with joy. Delighting in God and His love for me. Falling in love with Christ and His creation. Pursuing the Holy Spirit and His path for me instead of my own comfort.
Boy, thats a lot.
OK, bye.
a. GOD IS GOOD.
b. honesty is awesome.
god is doing such a crazy work in my heart. its honestly so painful because its a deep, deep issue that he is showing me. i've never seen how utterly sinful i am in such a clear way. there is so much gross stuff in my heart. there is a root...of pride, insecurity, fear of man...its so deep. it hurts god, me, and others. and God is pulling it out. i don't like it because it hurts. a lot. but oh, how i long to be like Christ, and give Him His rightful place on the throne of my heart.
I have so many idols, mostly centered around people. But I don't want to esteem or give value to anyone above CHRIST. When He commands us to have no other gods before Him, His two reasons are 1. I am the Lord and 2. I have redeemed you. How can I have any gods before Him? He is worthy of my whole-hearted devotion simply because He is.
So that is what is going on in my life. Pulling out the weeds instead of just pulling the tops off. Getting to the core of an issue, as part of the process. Submitting to the process with joy. Delighting in God and His love for me. Falling in love with Christ and His creation. Pursuing the Holy Spirit and His path for me instead of my own comfort.
Boy, thats a lot.
OK, bye.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
the end.
today, i'm leaving my precious CTFers in the hands of their team leaders, for good. i had no idea how difficult this would be! a year of work has come to this point. they are all here, interacting in their teams, begining to grow together. its beautiful. and so hard! because i don't get to go with them. i love being a sender. its SUCH a blessing. its not just something i say. my job has been so incredible this past year. its been hard and draining at times, but at the same time it has been the most amazing experience - professionally, spiritually, emotionally, relationally - just amazing.
but today, its done. my year with ELIC is essentially over. its a sobering thought. i can't believe its already here. i wish time didn't pass so quickly sometimes.
now, i'm moving forward. moving into the unexpected. changing jobs, one that i'm excited and terrified about. i've prayed that God would make me dependent on Him, and He has answered that prayer a lot. sometimes, i think...why would i pray that? but, its so good. i'm so excited about what is to come. scared, but excited. i've moved to a new place. my community is changing. god is changing me. its almost overwhelming.
and yet, there is peace. peace that i sometimes have to fight for. but its there. i know this is what i need to be doing. and i know that whatever is ahead, it is better than what is behind.
but today, its done. my year with ELIC is essentially over. its a sobering thought. i can't believe its already here. i wish time didn't pass so quickly sometimes.
now, i'm moving forward. moving into the unexpected. changing jobs, one that i'm excited and terrified about. i've prayed that God would make me dependent on Him, and He has answered that prayer a lot. sometimes, i think...why would i pray that? but, its so good. i'm so excited about what is to come. scared, but excited. i've moved to a new place. my community is changing. god is changing me. its almost overwhelming.
and yet, there is peace. peace that i sometimes have to fight for. but its there. i know this is what i need to be doing. and i know that whatever is ahead, it is better than what is behind.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
You make all things new
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through I'll be found in you
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
You make all things new
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through I'll be found in you
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
Monday, August 11, 2008
lately.
i had some thoughts this morning at 5 AM.
-obedience to God' word and abiding in Christ go hand-in-hand.
-how can I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit if I'm not listening?
-obedience to God' word and abiding in Christ go hand-in-hand.
-how can I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit if I'm not listening?
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