remember, its a process.

so, today, not unlike other days, i have felt so defeated. defeated because i feel victorious one day and seemingly never had victory the next day. because i see how sinful i really am and i feel like i will never move forward. because i focus on the sin instead of the risen Christ that enables me to be more than a conquerer.

but then a good friend reminded me today - loving God is a PROCESS. we are not sanctified once, we are continually being sanctified. its something we experience day by day, moment by moment. i need to have enough grace for myself to let God finish the work He started in me, which will happen for the rest of my earthly life, until I meet him face to face.

and that is a beautiful thought. thank you, jesus, for using your servants to speak truth.

seriously.

ummm i keep hearing about the same thing over and over again.  

weird.

i think change is on the horizon.

accepting the imperfections.

so. let me share an insecurity of mine that, to most, seems silly, but to me, is actually serious.



i have this tooth, you see. and when i was younger, i hit it, and had to have a root canal. now its grey. and i HATE it. its in the front, so you can see it when i smile. everytime i smile in a picture, i see it. and i cringe. no one else really sees it. but i do. and it SERIOUSLY bothers me. it makes me feel hideous. its like this glaring imperfection that i wish i didn't have.

today, i went to the beach with some friends. one of them took some photos of me. one i really really liked...except for THE TOOTH. always getting in the way. but i looked at it, and for some reason today, i almost liked that tooth. its an imperfection. its a flaw. but...its mine. and instead of hiding that i'm flawed and imperfect, always trying to cover up reality, i decided to share that picture with the world.



this is what i'm learning right now. to accept that i am flawed. to recognize that in my humanity. to admit to God, myself, and others that i am, in fact, totally depraved, but that by His grace, I have been redeemed.

i am imperfect.

and i'm ok with that.

no k.

"God Wants Me To Be Rich"

um

hi. i would just like the world to know that, while at first my iPhone was just pretty cool, the new software update makes it awesome. I now have internet radio, a chinese phrasebook, a bible search tool, and sweet games on my phone; in addition, i can text in many languages, most notably chinese and japanese. in conclusion, this phone is ridiculously amazing.

goodbye.

jammin.

here are some thoughts.

1. www.hungry-girl.com is a GREAT website if you want to eat healthy. i just bought her cookbook and i am super excited about it. on a related note, i have decided never to ingest fried foods again, as the last time i did (read: this weekend) i became quite ill. not worth it.

2. i really love music that makes me dancceee. we are listening to chromeo in our office right now (obv. it makes me productive?) and it is sweet. plus, the songs have titles like "tenderoni". pure comedy.

3. i can't stop reading Colossians. i've read it probably 6 times in the past few weeks and its amazing.

4. i have said it once, but i'll say it again: A.W. Tozer is BRILLIANT. i'm reading Keys to the Deeper Life and its blowing my mind.

5. oh, also, i'm 1/4 of a century. bring on the quarter-life crisis.

6. i miss my BFF. mostly because i love her and she is amazing.

7. i would like some cheez-its.

8. ok, bye.

this.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.