and yet...what am i doing here? i KNOW i'm not meant to stay here (meaning here as in america). and after showing a video of this girl who went to afghanistan and was arrested, i was just like...god i don't want to be here! its so good, yet...my heart yearns to make His name famous in the nations. i've been trying to convince myself that america is my mission field (and believe me people here need jesus. BOY.), but deep in my heart i know that i'm called to go. and i think just realizing that right now i would be making last minute preparations to got to vietnam for a LONG time...it just broke my heart.
and i cried. because i want to be overseas. b/c i was repenting of being content with my comfortable life. its like...my heart longs to be sharing the gospel, hope, with people in Asia, and yet part of me is so happy to buy dishes and all this...STUFF. and then i think about the vision i had last easter, of all these asians bowing down in worship to the god of the UNIVERSE! thats what i want to be a part of, not what the color scheme of my room is.
yet, He is still the god of my PRESENT. and i am here, for now. and he has something in store. please don't misunderstand what i'm saying. i'm so blessed, god is SO good, and i am SO thankful to be here, and just feel showered with His blessings. but he is stirring something up in my heart. i can't keep supressing this desire i have to GO.
god, make me uncomfortable. i'm ready. here i am. send me.
1 comment:
Oh girl!! I feel ya! I had that prayer-make me uncomfortable. I am here send me. And he sent me to Charlotte. I always knew that I was being obedient and that is the most important thing. I knew he wanted me in Charlotte, not forever but for a time being. Now look I am still praying that same prayer and now I am getting ready to go. I can see the fingerprints of God in your life and all you do. I four years I can't wait to see where God has brought you!! Love you!
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