a week of silence (kind of).

*i am a verbal processor.  i have not been able to verbally process.  so here it is.  and it might not make sense.  ready, set, go*

recently, god has been doing a lot in my life, blessing me in extraordinary ways even when it wouldn't make sense (isn't that always the case?).  anyway, its been so good.  but yet... there was an unsettled feeling in my heart, until i realized that i had forgotten something so basic - to truly treasure jesus.  instead, people (in general) had become a sort of idol - my relationships had take the place of the the most important relationship - with God.  

so, i turned off my phone on tuesday (its still off and will remain that way til sunday).  its been interesting.  the thing is, i still have been surrounded by people.  i just haven't been texting/talking all day.  i did have IM on the first two days, but was informed that was cheating (to be fair, i did not IM anyone else.  so at least that's something. ha).  i think the real test will be tomorrow/saturday, when i will be in simi w/ no roommates, and no internet, and no phone... strangely enough, i'm looking forward to it.  to be truly alone with god, without interruption/distraction.  it will likely be difficult for me, but i am at a place where i just want jesus.

it sickens me to think that i have let the idea that god is not enough creep into my thought patterns.  He IS enough.  interesting note, i borrowed The Weight of Glory about two months ago from a friend and never cracked it open, and then picked it up Tuesday.  Basically the entire first chapter is about how the longings we try and fulfill in things of this world are ultimately met in Christ.  I love this quote:

we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  we are far too easily pleased.

isn't that so true?  why do i look to things of this world, even people, to fulfill desires and longings that will never met fully met outside of Christ?  this world is so temporary, the pleasure and the pain, so why do i focus on these fleeting things instead of looking to the One who was, and is, and is to come?

what a treasure you are, o victorious one.

what a treasure you are, o risen one.