prayer.

i'm learning a lot about this subject.  part of it is explained in my last post...the idea that once i get what i want i don't pray about it,  then wonder why its not happening anymore.  i've been feeling..."distant" from the Lord lately.  i've been reading, thinking about God, but not really praying much.  When i first got to CA, i spent so much sweet time with the Lord, just enjoying Him.  I continually prayed "Lord, make me desperate" and He so kindly answered that.  So I stopped praying that prayer.  And tonight, with so much free time before me, I wonder why my first thought was not "mmmm time with Jesus!"  It was...I want a nap (I'm sick so thats kind of an excuse).  I realized I had not prayed for the Lord to make me desperate for Him in quite some time.  So I did.  Its funny, we have this idea that when we feel "distant" from God we just have to keep plugging away at our routine.  How about praying that we would desire Him more?  We pray for God to make Himself known, but don't pray that He would give us a heart that yearns for Him.  I think because that seems like something we do that we don't pray, b/c it seems only logical that we should muster that up ourselves.  Hmm.  This will probably go further I just can't think past this point right now.

Interestingly enough, March is a month of prayer at Cornerstone.  I'm truly excited about this.  We got a calendar and booklet on prayer Sunday, and I think its going to be a good month.  Francis had us be silent for like 5 minutes on Sunday.  For those of you who know me well, that was torture.  Because even when I'm not talking out loud, my mind is running constantly.  Its funny b/c in my last one-on-one meeting with my boss, she also had me sit in silence for a bit.  I think the Lord is trying to tell me something.