o. no.

i lost my bible. i am very sad. i have a pocket bible, but i really, really love my study bible. i also lost my journal. i can't find either. i think i left them at the beach. or at starbucks.
but i don't only miss it b/c its a great study bible. i miss the memories it contains. the dates when i wrote down things i was learning, only to come back a year later and have my heart reminded of those things. like last year when reading philippians, i circled multiple times in philippians 3, "i want to know christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his suffering." my bible became more than the word of God to me...it became a chronicle of my journey. it was especially poigniant since i got it 2 days after i returned from china, so the things written were evidence of the difficult struggles. i don't want a replacement, i want my bible.

also, god is SO amazing. i was telling my best friend that i was struggling with some stuff and she pointed out a couple things.
1. i was saying "I" in every sentance.
2. i need to stop and ask the Spirit what he wants me to do.

then, today, frances is talking about how we need to be led by the spirit (he's still going through galatians. and i LOVE it.) and he said no one runs on the treadmill while eating cheetos. you do one or the other. and when i feel like eating cheetos, i should probably just get on the treadmill. in the same way, if we are walking with the Spirit, we aren't going to be sinning. He then pointed out that its not about us (see point 1.) HA. THEN he started talking about how when we pray "god make me stop sinning" and he doesn't we're like "oh man god's not answering." What we should be praying is "God, what do you want me to do right now?" because if we ask him, he's not going to tell us "Go sin." I mean, that makes so much sense. We just aren't praying to be led by the spirit. And as he said that i was thinking, "I don't want to pray that b/c i'm SCARED of what he will tell me to do or ask me to give up." Then, he said that very same That was crazaaayyyy! It was just amazing that he talked about everything I was struggling with.
So, my resolve is to let this verse be my prayer:
"Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit" (Galatians 5:25).

The end.