when no means no.

you know when you want something very badly, and yet everything screams NO? your own heart, your friends, and even the Lord say "NO", and yet your desire remains unchanged?
that frustrates me. i want to accept the loving correction and leading of my Father, who truly knows what is best for me, even if it seems contrary to my desires. He knows that giving me those things would make less room for Him, and He is a jealous God.
And yet here I sit, with these desires that aren't sinful, but ones to which the Lord is saying "No...but look, wait, and watch what I have in store for you." I want to long for the things of God, the things that will fill me up with Him, rather than silly, empty snacks that will leave me feeling totally unsatisfied. I'm tired of seeking my satisfaction in other people and other things; in affirmation, in relationships with others, even in attention. I just want the Lord. But my willpower, my desire to chase after that instead of all the empty things is so low. I don't get it. I know I feel empty, and yet I return to those things time and again. The only answer is found in CHRIST. I have to CLING to Him, for HE ALONE is my HOPE.