faithful, you are faithful.

today at church i was reminded of the sweet truth that God is our shepherd.  he is the ONLY GOOD shepherd.  he is faithful, always there, and always to be trusted because its who He is.

this weekend has been SO good.  i have been blessed with really amazing community.  its so cool to have people just love you when you really haven't even scratched the surface of getting to know one another.  its incredible to see how God just pours out of the people I have met here.  my weekend has been full of cooking for each other, having amazing chats, being encouraged, meeting new people, and laughing a LOT. i just have loved every minute of it.  

God is SO faithful.  why do we ever doubt that He is exactly who He says He is.  God has never let me down...even when it seems like it, it always turns out perfect.  because he knows.  amazing.

i'm so happy.  god is so good.  

so good.

my life is amazing.  i needed the last five days to get out of california and see my family and my lovies.  but its good to be back.  seriously, i love my charlotte family.  and my BFFs.  and my life.  and what god is doing.

its cold in my apartment, but thats ok.  i have a kitchen table.  and i got the office season 3 for christmas. among other toys.  next year, i don't want anything.  its funny, i prayed "god break me of my consumerism" and...my dad gives me an iPhone.  Really?  I never seriously wanted one.  I was content with my little white panatech and my nano.  Don't get me wrong, its sweet.  But I almost wanted to throw up.  I had to take some time and think if i could keep it.  I just feel like...what will people think when they look at me with an iPhone?  That I have $400 to throw away on a PHONE?  What about when I'm talking to a homeless person and my phone rings and I pick it up?  $400 is 200 days of living for most people in the world.  I realize, I didn't buy it.  it was a very kind thought.  A nice gesture.  I just have a hard time with that.  I dunno.  I say all this, but if I returned it, I would not have given the money away.  Because I am a consumer.

Bah.  The end.

pure comedy.

one of the links on digg today was for the worst album covers. some of them are wildly inappropriate, so i'll just post my personal favorites:

(please note the right hand.)

(please add "ventriloquist dolls" to things i hate)

(yeah, i can see how if your friends died you'd write an album about it with that title)

(i know what they were trying to say, but...they really could have come up with a less awkward title.)

And finally, an oldie but a goldie:

tozer.

"always life stands beyond death and beckons the man who is sick of himself to come and know the life more abundant"

i am on the verge of praying some very scary things.  you know, like when you ask god to break your heart for what breaks his.  god will answer that.  i would liken it to asking someone to drop an anvil on your head.  it is certain death.  but in this case...a good death.  i want to die to myself.  i want to live the abudant life, without myself to get in the way.  i want to know the meaning of being hidden with christ. 

i was talking to my bff yesterday and said "today was a great day" and she pointed out that i often say that.  its true.  my life is incredible.  i am really seeing that god truly is able to do far more abundantly than all we can ask or think.  i often can't believe it.  the thing is, i feel like i've cried more in CA that i have in a long time.  but the tears are different.  the tears i cried in charlotte were those of sorrow, pain, bitterness.  here, they truly are tears of joy as i begin to see victories over sin, as i watch myself falling more in love with jesus.  i'm just so thankful.  so, so thankful.  

also, i get to see my family in 4 days.  for the first time in 6 years, this thought excites me.  

the end.

oh holy night.

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

wow. last night i was listening to this song and it was like...i GET IT. WOW. it just blew me away. i've been really learning about, and in small ways beginning to REALLY experience, the power of the resurrection. i say i'm a Christian, but i often live like Christ is still in the grave. but He rose that we might be set free! the power isn't in the fact that He died but that He CONQUERED THE GRAVE! man thats good!

God is just so good. I feel kind of crazy. I really feel obsessed with God. Not that its a bad thing...I would even venture to say it has been my prayer on a number of occassions. I feel like something is missing when I don't spend time with Him. Not that there isn't a war between my spirit and my flesh. But its like...when I'm not spending good, quality, one-on-one time with Him, I just feel sad. Its like when I don't talk to Manda on any given day, something is off. its so cool to see my heart changing, to be molded and shaped, to be pruned, to be refined. and sometimes i say that through tears, because its occasionally painful. but the tears are mixed with joy. because there is nothing sweeter than God's relentless pursuit of me.

i like to make iMixes.  just thought you'd like to know.

a friday to remember.

so today was...ridiculous.  with each day that goes by it feels more and more like my boss aspires to be michael scott.  

first, it started with sexual harassment training.  HILARIOUS.  there was even a video, with segments.  one was entitiled "nice rack".   imagine watching it in a room of adult christians (late 40s).  so awkward, so amazing.  i had a hearty chuckle.  i enjoy the word chuckle.

then..it was the meeting to end all meetings. from 10:30-4.  even lunch was a meeting.   there are way too many people that just like to hear themselves talk.  i wish it was helpful and made me able to do my job more effectively, but unfortunantley that is not the case.  most of those 5 1/2 hours were PAINFULLY awkward.  so i decided to laugh.  sometimes audibly, but mostly on the inside.

its one of those days that was so long and i just want to have a dance party.  i think i will.

here's the question of the day: why do i eat continue to eat spicy food even though it burns and makes my nose run?

also, should i see i am legend even though i hate zombies and am easily terrified?

in conclusion, i really love writing without capital letters.  i think it looks nicer.   

bye.

oh wait - you should know:

 

so freaking good.

oh and also:

three things i like.

christmas trees.

pasadena.

 

my best friend in paper glasses.

i want all three of them to exist together.  

that is all.

this, however, is CREEPY:

also, i found a baby that i think is cute.  his name is elias.  

the end.

i love this song today.

Come, come in
Invade all You see of us
Any man, who'd walk Your road is welcomed here
And You're the only one
Jesus, come and walk the halls of this house
Tread this place and turn it inside out
With Your mercy...
Jesus, teach us the prayers that open these doors
Until Your light floods in and illuminates these floors
And let Your truth be on our steps and in these roomsJesus invade...
Reach, reach in
With the hand that heals all our suffering
Conquer all that is not of You
Bring Your spirit throught
As we fill these walls with Your praise

(Watermark, Invade)

this idea of just...getting rid of the old, and making ROOM for the new. i feel this LITERALLY for my house (i haven't been sleeping for the past week or so. crazy)...and thats my prayer that He would conquer all that is not of him, that His spirit would flow out of me. I haven't thought of this song for a while and it just came to me this morning...it was just a confirmation of prayers.

I'm seeing God not just be the God of my past and future, but truly the God of my present. I think I often miss that, but that has been my prayer (thanks to a great reminder by my new BFF, A.W. Tozer)

Also, I want to write a book.
That is all.

number one.

i like to blog.  although i hate that word. i've used myspace for a while, but...i think its kind of lame.  so, um, i made this one? my old one is here.  

i'm at this place where God is speaking really, really clearly, yet I don't know what it means.  Three words I can't escape are run, perseverance, and hope.  I decided that last night.  Then today during Monday prayer, my boss for some reason said "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1).   crazaayy.  I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it all.  Its kind of intense and awesome.  

i just see God working all around me right now.  he is answering my prayers in ways i never imagined...and so quickly.  i honestly can't even believe my life sometimes.  its RIDICULOUS.  God is really preparing me for something. I can just feel it.

and now, to celebrate my roommates birthday with this:

mmmm, pinkberry.  i love california.