man, tonight has been good. God is good, and i feel like i've seen his faithfulness so clearly. today so many people have been united in prayer for a friend, and it was so cool to see God answer those prayers.
secondly, i've spent the evening alone, seeking the lord in the word, in prayer, and in reading Francis's book. (go get it on thursday!!). the chapter i read tonight was "when you're in love" and it reminded me of the sermon series "I'm in Love", which is essentially why i'm in CA now. (i want to post it but its too big!! man. you can go get it off itunes. cornerstone simi) That series pushed me and challenged me to love God is ways i had never been challenged before, mostly because i was looking to God's word as a means of comfort for me instead of a "radical" (i put it in quotes because its really not) series of writings that tell me to pursue God above all else.
anyway, this chapter has brought me back to that place. i will always, always, always fall short of loving God the way I should. and while usually this thought discourages me, because all i see is how i fall short, i feel so comforted by that right now. that despite that, god still wants me. and i will fight to love him, but with the knowledge that he is god and i am not. that i will never be perfected until i see him face to face.
but oh, how i long to love like christ loves! its in me. but the issue is not whether i long to be like christ to my neighbors. its what do i do with that longing. i need to love god and love others, exactly what the song above says. true religion is caring for the widows and orphans, as james says. so what if i feel like i don't have money to cover all my bills? god has a plan, and i have to trust in that. i want to live like a christian, not someone who wants christ for their own benefit.
one quote he had in his book was so convicting, from john piper. it basically asked the question if you knew heaven was a place where you'd have all your friends and family, life was perfect, you'd have all your favorite pleasures in life, there would be no suffering...would you still want to go there if it meant you were apart from christ?
WOW that was challenging to me. it made me stop for a minute and think...why am I a christian? do i follow christ simply because he's worthy? or so i won't go to hell? i pray it is the former, that i love Christ because He is worthy of my love.
man, i'm so excited right now. god is so good. and i know i only love him because he puts that love in me. i love that he loves me.
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