for the past week, there has been this old band-aid sitting in the hallway of my apartment building. its so gross. and i get grossed out everytime i look at it. but its not mine, so i don't want to pick it up. so it sits there. what does this say about me? ha.
on a more serious note, i realized this morning that i often give god lip service. on facebook (where real life happens), my religious views say "love like jesus loves". i fully stand behind that statement. thats what i find in scripture - love god, love others. but in reality, i love the way i want to. my love for others is so conditional (and i guess it always will be). but i'm tired of saying things and then being content with other people doing them. this is something i've observed in myself for a long time...and still never did anything about it. i was reading some of the core writings of an organization called INNERchange, and I found myself agreeing with statements yet unwilling to make changes. booo.
i also realized that when someone asks me to pray for them, if i feel like its their own fault i don't want to, and...usually don't.
hows that for transparency? ha.
but you know, these are all good things to realize. i don't want to waste my life and my time loving people that make me feel better, or only praying for others when i feel like they deserve prayer. how prideful! i am NOT god. shocking, i know. while seeing sin is at first maddening, i love when God shows me how much I need Him. I am a mess. it goes back to what my good buddy Francis was talking about on Sunday. I cannot make myself righteous. Thats God's job.
Welp, see ya later.
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1 comment:
i love you. and your thoughts.
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